The Birth Story of Mia
While I was pregnant, I heard the most frightening birth stories imaginable. The birth stories that were shared with me were all from moms who had given birth in the hospital. After attending the hospital tour at 17 weeks, I began to question if the setting was right for me. The most frightening part of the entire hospital tour, were the lights located on the ceiling – the “spot” lights. Sure it was to help the doctor and everything seemed to revolve around assisting the doctor, but what about the mom?
The concept of having a home birth, was not foreign to me. In 1992, my mom had my little 11lbs 6oz brother at home. At 16, I was a part of his birth and the experience was amazing. Yet, I questioned if this was right for me.
During my entire pregnancy, I attended a prenatal yoga class where I met other girls who were going through the same experience of being pregnant. And that’s where I met a friend, who referred me to Mary. I remember telling her that I don’t know why I was afraid of having a home birth.
At 28 weeks, I visited with my OB and she informed me that she had lost my files. That made me think about wanting and needing more personal attention. That’s when I met with Mary. Just remember, I had a choice. I could choose to whom to go to and where I wanted to have my baby.
The pregnancy progressed with no complications and it continued into the birth. On September 13, I had an appointment with Mary. She was sure that the baby would be large, probably close to 8lbs or more, if I would go to term.
Saturday the 15th of September was a tiring day. I had my mother-in-law and sister-in-law in town for the baby shower, which was on the 16th. Since my mom was hosting the baby shower, I had offered to help her. Which meant I was preparing some dishes for the Sunday Baby shower Brunch. I still had some errands to run and had asked my husband and sister-in-law to come with me. I just felt more tired than usual and my feet were starting to swell earlier in the day and getting around, was getting difficult.
Later that evening, my best friend arrived and she was sleeping over too. We had a house full of guests, something that we didn’t anticipate. Actually there was a lot that we didn’t anticipate that evening. We were all in bed by 10pm. I had no problem going to sleep that evening, even though I only slept until 11:15. When I awoke, I had the urge to go to the bathroom. When I stood up, I realized that my bed was wet. I couldn’t believe it, was it possible that I wet my bed? I did get up and I went to the bathroom. I returned to bed and woke my husband and told him that I think my water broke. He asked how did I know. My reply was, I didn’t! He suggested I call Mary and I wanted to wait a little longer. I didn’t have any pains or any contractions/surges…but I wasn’t pain-free for very long! Within what seemed like minutes, my surges started. I couldn’t tell when the surges began or ended. I had a second water leakage and this time, it was as if the dam had broken and it did. From that point on, there was no turning back.
My husband called Mary and my surges had progressed to 10 minutes apart. Just a reminder, by this time it was maybe 12:15-12:30. Mary had suggested I get some rest between contractions, because it was going to be a long night and I needed to rest and conserve my energy. There was no way I was going to rest. The surges were getting closer and closer and after another call to Mary, she suggested I get into the shower. I did and I really don’t know how long I was in there. The water helped relieve the pressure that the surges were causing. My husband was checking in on me and by this time, it was approximately 1am and the surges were 6-7 minutes apart. Mary was on her way!
I was somewhere between 4-6cm dilated. I got into my bathtub and “relaxed”. Once again, this was helpful in relieving the pain. My husband was extremely helpful through out the entire process. He brought in the iPod and turned on our Hypno-birthing music. Again, it assisted in the pain relief.
After laboring in the tub for over an hour (once again, it seemed like minutes), my husband woke Mary and she came to check me. Apparently, the baby was ready to come out. My goal was to give birth in the birthing pool, but that didn’t happen. I was on the bed and pushing through the surges. Mary was extremely helpful, calm and reassuring. She made sure that I didn’t tear, which I didn’t. She made sure that everything was about the mom and baby, and it was. Within 20-30 minutes from leaving the tub, our little girl was born. She came into the world at 3:16am, using her lungs and she made sure she was heard. She woke her Grandma and aunt, but she didn’t wake my best friend. My husband had to go and wake her and tell her there was a baby.
Our little Mia was perfect! She weighed 6lbs 12oz and was 20” long. She had a head full of dark hair! We couldn’t believe the amount of hair this little girl had. We were all in awe. How wonderful is it, to go to bed and wake up to a new baby! No one returned to bed. We just couldn’t believe what had happened. This little girl wanted to make it to her own baby shower. She knew there would be many people there, who would love to meet her and they did. Imagine the surprise to family and friends, when I showed up with my baby! The looks and reactions were priceless. No one could believe that less than 9 hours ago, I had given birth. The number one question was, “How did they let me out of the hospital so quickly?” Imagine their reactions when we told them that she was born at home. No one could believe it. They thought I was super woman, but I’m far from it.
I strongly believe that you have to envision what you want; the brain is a powerful tool. You have to remember, that you do have choices in where you birth. With the support of a fabulous midwife, an extremely capable and supportive husband, a house full of guests and Mother Nature, laboring can be relatively quick and pain-free.
The Birth Story of Ephraim Royce
I'd been having loads of braxton-hicks contractions since around 30 weeks, but I could always stop them by lying down. I started having what I decided were "real" contractions late Tuesday afternoon. Lying down didn't change the intensity or slow them down very much, so I figured this must be it. By about 6pm, I had to concentrate to relax through them. I let my midwife Mary know what was up, and she said to call her if anything changed or if I wanted them to head over. My back was hurting during the contractions, so I was worried that baby had turned posterior or maybe had a fist up next to his face (he’d been punching my cervix a lot during the past few weeks), and that labor would be really long and horridly painful. Thankfully, I was wrong about the long part, but the back pain was pretty annoying.
We weren't quite ready for the birth yet, because I thought I would last at least another week. I straightened up the bedroom and looked through the boxes of baby clothes my sister had brought over a few hours earlier, picking out one shirt for a boy, one for a girl. My Mother-in-Law had just arrived in town that morning, and had only gotten 3 hours of sleep the night before. My husband Mike was also sleep deprived because our two-year-old Judson had a double ear infection and hadn't been sleeping well, with three to six wake-ups every night that Mike would take care of. No one wanted an all-night labor
The kids went down at 6:30pm, and at 9pm, we adults went to bed. I thought maybe if I really relaxed they would slow down and I could sleep a bit. It worked! Between 9pm and 3am I probably slept a total of four hours. Every now & then I would wake up (often when Judson woke up crying), have a contraction, need to pee, have a contraction on the way to the bathroom, while there, and on the way back, have another one or two and then fall back to sleep. What a great way to labor. By 3am they weren't slowing enough to fall asleep again, and by 3:30 I needed Mike to coach me through them to relax and breathe deeply. They didn’t seem very long to me, so I was worried I hadn’t progressed much. Mike timed a few, and they were 80-90 seconds long and three minutes apart. Definitely hard-working contractions!
This was my second birth experience (we adopted our first son, Collin). Mike and I had prepared well for Judson’s birth, and it went fine until we got to the hospital at 9cm. I managed to pull off a natural birth, but it was despite the routines and staff at the hospital. This time I knew things would be better at home, and was hoping for a less painful labor. I had practiced relaxing almost every day for a couple months and had reviewed the Bradley childbirth book and a few other natural childbirth books. Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth was particularly helpful to prepare me for a home birth and give me confidence in my body’s ability to give birth. Unfortunately, my labor wasn’t less painful this time, but it was more manageable. I used yoga breathing to control my breath and help me relax during most of the night, but by the time I woke Mike, I had to vocalize during contractions. I hummed, trying to keep it a low-pitched hum since that made it easier to keep my body loose. Whenever my pitch became higher, I could feel myself tensing up, which just made the pain worse, and I’d force my pitch lower.
I called Mary at 4:05 and told her to head over. She picked up her apprentice Nedra and arrived around 4:40. Nedra checked me and said I was 8 or 9 cm. I was thrilled! All those half-sleeping contractions had done some great work. We called my sister Judy and told her to head over.
After a few more contractions I could feel baby’s head pressing, and sure enough, I was fully dilated. I tore like crazy when Judson was born (in 4 pushes at a hospital), so I asked them to help me not tear this time. They had me sit on the floor propped by a bunch of pillows, leaning back. Mary had me give little grunt pushes instead of the big, long, breath-holding type so I would stretch instead of tear. They were squirting olive oil on my perineum and I think my stomach, which felt great, and I think Nedra was stretching my perineum a bit.
At first I DID NOT want to push, because it hurt so badly, especially in my back. Later I had the MUST PUSH urge, but was only allowed little pushes, or sometimes no pushes at all, especially while he crowned and I stretched. I could feel where it wanted to tear, so I was motivated to obey Mary's instructions. I was alternately roaring, screaming, and making all sorts of odd noises depending on if I could or couldn’t push. And it worked – I just got a little scratch, no tear. (It’s amazing how not tearing eliminates so much pain during recovery.)
Baby slowly emerged, and what a relief once his head was out! Then his shoulders took more effort than I expected, but suddenly there was my baby on my stomach, all slimy and beautiful. It was a couple of minutes before Mike thought to ask if it was a boy or girl. Someone held him up and there he was! Our third son! After a while, Mike cut the cord and I nursed him (his cord was too short to nurse while still attached), and later I pushed out the placenta.
It took us a full day to find his name – Ephraim Royce, named after St. Ephraim, a 4th century monk, theologian, musician and writer, and Mike’s Grandpa Royce.
I was lying in bed at about 11:30 pm thinking to myself that I should have gone to bed earlier in case labor started the next day so I would be well rested. Low and behold about 10 minutes later my water broke. I called Mary to tell her that my water had broken and she advised me to try to get some rest before hard labor began. Within a few hours I was having intense contractions. My husband filled up the birthing tub and I got in and it really helped to keep me relaxed and comfortable. It also helped soothe the intensity of the contractions. My labor was an intense 5 and ½ hours long. Mary kept me grounded when I needed to be and my husband was holding me the whole time. Our baby boy was a surprise and my husband cried like a baby when he saw him. Our 3 year old daughter, who was also delivered by Mary woke up about 30 minutes after Larz Robert was born. Everyone says that my son is the most peaceful baby they have ever seen. I call him my little Buddha. I feel strongly that the peaceful environment he was born in plays a huge role in my baby’s super calm temperament.
I think pushing only lasted 10-15 minutes. My sister arrived sometime during pushing and our four-year-old Collin woke up from all my noise. Collin did great and enjoyed seeing his brother born. We’d talked about what birth would be like so he knew what to expect. Judson miraculously slept through the whole thing.
Looking back on Ephraim’s birth, I have to say it was a rollicking success. Of course getting so much dilation work done overnight while partially sleeping helped make it manageable. But I think the whole-hearted support I received from DH was the key. I knew he believed in me, and that made me believe in me, too. During the pushing stage, everyone was so encouraging, telling me I was doing a great job, etc. Having a home birth was fabulous. Everyone who was there was invited, and I trusted them fully, which helped me relax. Not having to deal with the irritating staff, noise and routines of the hospital made it so peaceful and safe feeling. If I am blessed with another opportunity to give birth, it will definitely be at home again!
The Birth Story of Larz Robert
What an empowering experience to be truly present at the birth of your baby.
Let’s start with a very brief synopsis of Sarai’s older sister Anjara’s entry into the world. I was determined to have natural childbirth due to its many benefits for mother and child. I told my OBGYN of my wishes, did most of my labor at home, showed up at the hospital fully dilated, tore to shreds while pushing, and had a beautiful baby girl within forty-five minutes. Then that twenty-four hour stay began. UGH! I couldn’t wait to get home and escape from all the nasty germs that fester in a hospital, cease to be poked and prodded, and who invented those awful hospital beds anyway? All in all a relatively benign experience nonetheless.
Fast forward ten months…Yippee! Lucky us, we hit the ground running and got pregnant on the first try. This time there was no question that I was going to have a home birth. It wasn’t some awful hospital experience that drove me into the world of home birthing, but a desire to have the most comfortable and safe birthing experience I could. Following the recommendation of many women, I chose Mary Henderson as my midwife. Upon meeting Mary, I felt immediately at ease and was filled with confidence in her abilities. I knew she would be an excellent choice. I was comforted to know that she is not some crazy home birthing cowboy and would accompany me to a hospital if risk to me or my baby dictated, that she had twenty-six years of experience behind her, and most importantly my instinct told me that she was the right person to help me through this journey.
Over the following nine months I received superior care at the hands of Mary and her apprentice Nedra. Not only was the physical environment of the office a place of peace and comfort, but they were attentive, knowledgeable, and reassuring. They were able to answer all of my questions, from the mundane to the delicate and the difficult but important ones. I really appreciated that they valued my input even though they were the experts.
The due date rolled around quickly and labor began on April 9, 2007 with mild contractions in the afternoon. Was this really it or a prelude to the real deal? I contacted Mary, who offered to come at anytime I wished. By 7:30 PM I suspected that it was indeed the real deal and the ordeal of helping Anjara settle in for the night began. She was comfortably asleep at our friend Keri’s house by 10:00 PM and I was able to shift focus to the impending birth of my beautiful Sarai. Steve and I called Mary, and she arrived promptly at 10:30 PM. Her arrival put me at ease, and lo and behold, I learned that I was already dilated to 5 cm. Nedra and my three friends Emily, Bibi, and Tara arrived shortly after Mary, and labor progressed quickly and easily. I felt such relief not having to pay attention to the length of my contractions and figuring out when to get in the car to head off to the hospital. I could simply concentrate on my body and respond to what it needed to welcome Sarai into the world without a hitch. Steve’s support was unwavering, and my girlfriends distracted me when it was needed, helping me let go of the pain and have a good laugh now and then through the process. At about 11:30 PM I got in the birthing tub, which eased the intensity of the contractions. Mary was able to read me and respond to my needs, and respected my request for minimal intervention. Yet she was vigilant, keeping a close eye on me, monitoring the baby, and encouraging me. At close to 12:30 AM on April 10, 2007 (Who knows the exact time…I was in the throes of labor!) Mary checked me, and as soon as she started checking I felt the urge to push. She informed me that it was indeed time, and escorted me to my bed where I started to push in the position I chose. Mary was not rattled by the geyser of fluids that bathed her as my water broke. In contrast to my first birthing experience, when my doctor encouraged me to push continuously, Mary helped slow down what felt like an absolutely involuntary process to ensure that I did not tear. Steve was holding my hand and watching in amazement as Sarai entered the world. Our family was becoming a family of four. My friends were in awe of the process. I was able to meet my sweet Sarai at 12:41 AM. She was placed on my chest immediately so I could share a quick cuddle and a tear of joy with her. I was able to bathe in my own shower, spend the rest of the night unmolested by doctors and nurses in my own space, and then sleep in my own king size bed with my newly expanded family.
On Monday, April 23rd, Aidan and I went to story time at the library as usual. My friend Karen was there with her youngest daughter and had offered to watch Aidan for the afternoon. After I said good-bye to Aidan, I met Michael for lunch at a little Mexican restaurant. Then we went to an appointment to finalize our will and guardianship choices for our children (interesting timing). After two hours of signing paperwork, we picked Aidan up from Karen's. He had asked if he could spend the night at his grandparents' house (did he know something we didn't?). So when we got home, I helped him pack his overnight bag, and took him over to "Jamma and Chief's" house. He was so excited to have a sleepover!
I didn't feel much like cooking, so I picked up some bread, cheese, and salad from La Grande Orange for dinner. My husband and I enjoyed a picnic together in our backyard that evening. I even had some wine! We said grace and told God how thankful we were for all our blessings. We looked up at the moon and noticed that it was exactly half full. I felt so at peace. At that point, I knew that I was ready to give birth whenever my son was ready to be born.
A few hours later lying in bed, I noticed a contraction. It was about 9:30 pm. I got up to check email, and had 5-6 more within the hour. At 10:50, I called Joyce, our doula, because she wanted an early heads up if I thought there was any chance I was in labor. I didn't call anyone else because I still didn't know if it was real labor. My mom had planned to drive up from Tucson to take care of Aidan the moment I went into labor, but since he was at his grandparents' house, I decided to let her sleep. (She later told me she had trouble sleeping that night. She must have known her daughter was in labor…)
Over the next 2 hours, my contractions started to get closer together. I was able to lie down in bed (mostly on hands and knees) and tried to rest. Michael was hopeful that we might get a "good night's sleep." Ummm… probably not going to happen. By 12:30 am, my contractions were regular (5 minutes apart) and about 50-60 seconds long. I got up and started preparing our bedroom. I asked Michael to get me the rocking chair and birth ball. He called Mary, our midwife at about 1:00 to let her know we would probably be needing her some time that night. I tried laboring in the rocking chair (not comfortable), sitting on the birth ball (lasted for about 2 contractions), and sitting backwards on the toilet (no good). What felt best was standing up, leaning over one of the drawers on my dresser, and swaying back and forth. I was using breathing techniques and Unfocused Awareness to get through the contractions. I called Joyce again at 2:40, and in the middle of our conversation, I had a contraction and had to put down the phone. She said she would head right over. I still thought I had hours and hours of labor left. So I decided not to call Jeanette, my friend and our photographer, and let her get some sleep. Michael started video taping me, and I said, "Hi Caleb, it's April 24 th. This could be your birthday." (I still wasn't sure this was it!)
Within no time, I was needing Michael's support to help get me though the contractions. I think they were about 3 minutes apart at this point. He was amazing. He would massage my shoulders and tell me stories to help take my mind off the contractions. He encouraged me with loving words and supported me with his strong arms. As things became more intense, he began moaning the mantras "down" and "open" with me. I never felt alone. Soon I asked him to call Mary. When Joyce arrived, I immediately felt calmer. Her words of support were so wonderful to hear. I remember her asking if we had called my mom. I said I thought we should call her at about 4:00. That way she could be there first thing in the morning.
When Mary and her apprentice, Nedra, arrived, they started preparing for the birth. Someone called Jeanette for me, and it was a good thing, too. If we had waited, she would have missed the birth entirely. Mary asked me if I needed to pee, and I said I should probably give it a try. Shortly after that, she said I sounded like I was getting ready to push. I could hardly believe what she was saying. Could I really be there already? I told her I wanted to be in the water for the birth. When I was ready, I opened the door to the patio outside our bedroom and climbed into our hot tub. (Michael had just drained, cleaned, and filled it with fresh water the day before.) It was a perfect 100 degrees. I remember discovering all kinds of toys on the bottom and just chucking them out of the tub. I almost hit Michael in the head with one!
Mary suggested I have her check to see how far dilated I was before I started pushing. That sounded like a good idea to me. I still couldn't believe my son was so close to being born. She said I was 9 ½ cm and that my bag of waters was bulging. With one little push, it popped. What a relief. Our baby was at a +3 station, and now I was just waiting for the right moment. Michael climbed into the tub and supported me from behind. Mary leaned over the side to help me, and Nedra stood by her holding a flashlight and the Doppler. Jeanette arrived and started to take pictures. I asked Joyce if she would videotape for us. She got the camcorder and started filming.
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When I started pushing, I began to panic a little. I could feel burning and stretching, and I remember saying, "I can't! I can't! I can't! I don't know what to do!" I heard Joyce remind me, "I can! I can! I can! Remember, you can do anything for a minute." Everyone encouraged me and reminded me I was designed to bring my baby into the world. Their support and trust in the birthing process was what helped calm me down. When I started to lose my confidence, I looked intensely into Mary's loving eyes and she grounded me. |
| Being in the water was so incredible. Between each contraction, I was able to fully relax into the warmth of the water and the comfort of my husband's arms. He was so loving. I couldn't have pushed for more than 15 minutes. When my baby's head emerged, I reached down and felt it. Mary unwrapped the cord around his neck, and I pushed him out. It was 4:50 am. The joy I felt when I saw him is indescribable. He was beautiful. I kissed him and told him how much I loved him. When the cord stopped pulsing, we tied it off, and Michael cut it. Within 5 minutes, I was ready to push the placenta out. Michael held Caleb, and kept him warm in the water. The placenta came very easily, in one push. Next thing I knew, I was in my bed, all rinsed off from a quick shower, holding my newborn baby. The lights were kept nice and dim, and the song "Beautiful Boy" was playing on our IPOD. Caleb Tabor was 9 pounds, 3 ounces and 21 inches long. He is calm, peaceful, and so sweet. |
Beyond Conception Midwifery
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